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Wednesday, December 01, 2004

Its the face...

Ok, so I'm out with some friends the other night at a bar near my house. I'm waiting in line for the restroom (you know its a bad scene if there's a line for the men's room and not the women's) and this girl walks by with quite an ample bosom and the guy next to me leans over and says to her, and I quote, "Hey baby, its the face not the titties, you know what I'm saying!" She apparently did not know what he was saying because she glared at him and continued to walk away. Though I realize the psychology this fellow was spinning I see three things wrong (though there may be more) with how he said it:

A) I've never known a successful pick up line that included the word "titties." Its such a weird word anyway. What are you 7? There is no reason to ever use that word in a woman's presence, EVER! Someone tell me one instance throughout the history of mankind where a man has successfully wooed a woman and included that word. Excluding, of course the little known Longfellow poem that begins "You're as cute as kitties."
B) Dude, you're waiting in line for the bathroom, not the place to pick up girls
C) Never ask, "you know what I'm saying" assume she knows, show some confidence for goodness sakes

I mean, come on dude, when you are talking with a girl who has obvious good features, but you are pretending that is not why you are talking to her, do not, I repeat do not, point out the fact that you did not notice her County Fair Prize Winning Melons.
Of course I'm always looking for an excuse to get beat up, so after I stopped laughing I leaned over and asked him "Has that ever worked?" Apparently it had not, as he did not reply.

Posted by timothy :: Direct Link 1 comments

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