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Monday, October 31, 2005

I Love America...

So we have an opportunity to slow the spread of a virus that not only effects 1-4 people, but can also cause cancer and death to some that contract it.

But, if we do this, teenagers, who are already having sex (oral or otherwise) may feel more safe while having sex

Full article here:

I find it rather sad that the abstinence only crowd has to rely on the threat of STD's to keep kids from having sex. That's like using Hell as a threat to pack the pews on Sunday! When will "they" learn that fear will only keep [the local systems] in line for so long. Eventually the revolt of truth, and accurate information will lose your battle for you (not your intimidating Death Star).

I remember when I was a teen, it was the threat of babies alone that kept my proverbial rocket in my proverbial pocket! When did we stop relying on the threat of babies to keep kids out of sex. There were many afterschool specials where sad little Mandy couldn't go out to play with her friends because she had to stay home with her infant. Have they forgotten the power of the dirty diper?

This is kind of like that magic button, but in reverse. You know the magic button right? If you push it, you get everything you've ever wanted, but somewhere in the world someone you've never met dies. Do you push it?

So for those people wanting to keep kids out of the backseat of cars, HPV is that magic button. We could get rid of it and save the lives of 3700 women a year, or we could keep it and teenagers will magically stop having sex.

"Who are these people?!?" -Jerry Seinfeld

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Wednesday, October 26, 2005

I'm Old!

So I'm back from a great weekend, still exhausted, but back.

Lately my literary muse has departed me, and I'm not sure why. It could be that I'm just tired and not "feeling it." It could be that this week I find out whether or not I keep my job, or get laid off. (So by Monday, I will either find myself with an abundance of free time, or unsatisfactorily employed. Here's hoping!) It may also be that I didn't win the lottery last night.

So this last weekend I went back to Texas for my University's Homecoming, and my five year reunion (getting so old!). It was a blast. I got to see a lot of my friends that I haven't seen since graduation and a lot that I saw only a few months ago. To give you an idea of the randomness of the weekend I will simply give you words or phrases and let you use your imagination:

Iron Chef,
girlfriend's family,
my mom and her boyfriend,
ramen and a three man slingshot,
random pledges,
driving a new Volvo that wasn't mine,
loud shrieking girls catching me by surprise,
a cook book editor from Oakland,
accidently dicthing ex-girlfriends,
and alcohol!

Homecoming in Highschool

Homecoming in College... see the difference?

Hope your weekend was as nice! This weekend involves a Weezer and Foo Fighters concert, Napa with college friends, and the opening of the DeYoung museum in Golden Gate Park, so I probably won't get much more sleep!

(on a side note, spell check doesn't recognize Vegan as a word and suggested vagina as a replacement)

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Thursday, October 20, 2005


So I recently found this site that tracks the Rapture and assigns a number based on how close we are. Bad news though, we are at the highest number since the site started tracking it!

Say your prayers
here !

I find it interesting that unemployment, inflation rates, and oil supply/price are all part of God's big plan! Who knew that my friend being out of job is leading us to the apocalypse? That lazy bastard better start looking for a job!

So if you need a quick laugh, check it out!

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Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Best Quote I've heard all year...

"The only difference between Man and God is that while Man is paid hourly, God is salaried!" -some girl at work

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Monday, October 17, 2005

We shall plant the hydrangea... there!

Since my job and I are not really on speaking terms, I often think about what I should be doing that's not this. My "future job" changes from month to month, sometimes week to week.

My current favorite is fairly new to the rotation, but the more I think about it, the more I start to like it.

My next profession shall be.... Landscape Architect. I've always liked landscaping, I've always liked architecture, it seems like the two should go hand in hand!

So I looked into, its a three year program for schlubs like me who don't have an undergrad degree in anything bearing any type of resemblence to design.

One school I looked at requires a "Exhibit of Professional and Creative Work" which was the most exciting thing on the admission requirements page. If I started now, it would be a bit of a rush to get my stuff in by the deadline, but I think it could be done.

Perhaps my recent interest stems from my
creative works this weekend. Working with the right side of my brain always makes me want to use it more!

So we'll see if this pans out, or ends up in my "box of broken dreams" along with my skateboard, basketball, and undergrad diploma.

If anyone out there reading this happens to be a landscape architect, or know someone who is, or is going to school for something similar, any advice would be greatly appreciated. (because its all about the networking)

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Friday, October 14, 2005


Another Friday and another few hours till the weekend. Five days of working and all you get is two days off, definitely not enough.

So one of my friends decided on Wednesday that they would sell their house... this weekend. As many of my friends do, they bought a house that was a bit of a fixer-upper, and like many of my friends they had kind of slacked off, thinking that things could always get done "tomorrow".

Well, yesterday was "tomorrow" and things got kicked into high gear. We all forwent our weekly happy hour and headed over to his house to get some work done.

They had a "stager" come in to help them get their house more "sellable". This included making places where you can "linger", removing about half the furniture, removing all but about 3 books per shelf, and cramming all this stuff into the garage.

Many jokes about bowls of pomegranates (round things make houses sell) later, we had put a sizable dent in getting the house ready. Crown molding was installed post haste, pictures of the happy couple were removed from walls and shelves (it makes the buyer less likely to bond with the house if they see you), walls were painted different colors, and the backyard was transformed from dismal to exciting... ...and all within a few hours!

just screams "buy me"

We all enjoyed some adult libations and college slop (beer and pizza) and I ended up with a pair of new (to me) speakers.

...and I like to think that we all learned a little bit more about staging.

And though I stayed up later than I have all week, and eventhough I worked my ass of lifting, moving and packing, I feel better than I have all week. There's just something about good honest work with your hands!

Have a great weekend.

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Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Duped Again!

So most of you who know me, know my passion for video games. Hell, even if you don't actually know me, but only read about me, know my passion.

Well, today, during lunch, I visited one of my favorite web-based game sites to skulk around and see if there is anything new, or anything I haven't played yet. I found a couple that I found amusing and then saw one titled,
"Adventures of Jack" which looked to be ok. So I click on it and begin to play. At first it appears to be about some guy who is trying to score some blow, and that is the point of the game. So, I'm thinking, pretty lame premise, probably some cokehead game designer, but I'll see how it turns out. But then I thought, and this should've tipped me off, Cokehead's don't play video games, Stoner's play video games, so who came up with this crappy premise for a game.

Well, after clicking on the cop and the old lady, only to discover there were in fact, not, drug dealers, I proceeded to click on the pimp looking fellow with a wad of cash in his hand. When asked if he is a dealer, he responds that of course he is. He then proceeds to sell you the "white stuff" though he never takes money from you, and you are now at home with 3 piles of coke in front of you, labeled, small dose, normal dose, and overdose! If only it were that easy in real life then so many more of our musically inclined rock gods would be touring at 70. So depending on the three different scenarios you choose, you die in 3 different ways. Apparently this is all a anti-drug commercial, disguised as a crappy game that most children won't ever play.

The good part was that it wasn't as long as the
stealthy Christian game I played a few weeks ago, but it is annoying all the same. Here I am, looking for a little mindless fun, and I get told not to do coke, as I will die instantly after.

My bigger problems with the game involve the fact that adults cannot ever accurately portray drug use, dealers, or the users.

If all I ever learned about coke was from this game, I would know the following:

-All drug dealers dress like pimps
-Walking up to random people on the street and asking for drugs is the best way to get them
-Cops and old ladies typically don't sell drugs.
-Drugs are free, dealers will just hand it out to you (usually two feet away from cops)
-Only slackers who wear their hats backward, dress like a freak, and already look stoned use drugs

-Its very possible a dealer will sell you flour or washing powder instead
-Flour will make a sandwich come out of your nose, but washing powder will kill you!
-Using only a small amount drugs will just annoy you, so make sure you use a lot!
-Using drugs will get you killed in a drive-by, by the Japanese Yakusa's
-Drugs are conviently labeled in overdose capacities
-Asking a cop if he's a dealer (always a good idea) will get you beat and arrested

My problems with games like this are that they create an extreme unrealistic impression of what actual drug use is like. When children get out into the real world and have contact with it for the first time, they realize that everything they were told up until then about drugs has been a lie! If they were lied to about furry coated pimps, why wouldn't they have been lied to about the actual harmful effects of the drug. "Adults drink alcohol after they tell us its bad for us, maybe this is just another lie so they can have more coke for themselves."

Scaring children with incorrect information will only work for so long.

How about a realistic game, where your friend is the one using and trying to get you to. Or perhaps your best friend is the dealer. Maybe your uncle is doing coke off a stripper's ass as you accidently walk into the living room {awkward}. Rather than have a kid get shot up by the mafia, perhaps have his girlfriend get into his stash and OD at a party. You know, realistic things that actually happen. (Well, they happen on the O.C., anyway!)

So, if you haven't done so already, check out the Adventures of Jack, it'll only take about 3 minutes.

I knew I should've just stuck to
Beaver Dive (not making that up) , its much more fun anyway!

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Tuesday, October 11, 2005

And for no apparent reason...'s a picture of me on a large fiberglass cow:

She likes to be ridden while she's milked...

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Monday, October 10, 2005

Sam and Max...

So if you are wondering as to my lack of posting, the answer is two-fold:

1) I am actually busy lately at work and haven't even had the time during my lunch break to blog, and my connection at home sucks!

2) I have finished "The Dig" but am now wrapped up in "Sam and Max: Hit the Road"

I hope to be rejoining the real (and not quite as witty) world very soon.

In the meantime, feel free to submit me a question to my other page.

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Thursday, October 06, 2005

The Dig

So I recently purchased some classic LucasArts games and have been wrapped up in The Dig for the last couple of days.

screenshot from The Dig

It really takes me back to my college days when I first got a computer. When I first played it I assumed the pixelated graphics were due to my crappy computer. I have recently discovered, that that is actually how the game is. But that's ok, its a really great game.

I had forgotten how enjoyable games that don't involve constant killing or explosions, can be. Its a simple puzzle game that utilizes a point and click interface.

I really wish there were current games that were this fun.

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Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Wednesday is trash day!

...and I forgot to take it to the curb! Dammit!

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Monday, October 03, 2005

Of garage sales, missed dreams, and random parties!

So as opposed to my usual weekends of sitting on my ass and watching TV (which is always my favorite) someone decided to drag me out of the house and make me do stuff!

We started with swapmeet at an old drive-in movie theater, which is always fun. I love looking at other people's crap and seeing how much they want for it. We also stopped at many garage sales on the way home from there. More "other people's crap", more haggling!

Among the many things we picked up this weekend we found:

A hanging plant macrame holder
An Admiral Ackbar, Return of the Jedi, action figure
A five pack of
Tube of Balloons
A VCR for $5 (with remote)
The two good Indiana Jones movies (if you have to ask... don't!)
A large camel Beanie Baby as it reminds her of my dumb ass
Two Jade trees in pots
A framed picture of three flowers (or a frame with three pictures of flowers)
A book of 365 questions for couples (we are so damned cheesy)
and a bonsai pot from Goodwill

We passed on many many other items, but the one of note was the box of 80's Playboy's, his wife was finally making him get rid of. But I think I've finally reached the age where having a large box of nudie mags is just not appropriate.

And yes, now I've finally done it, my blog has succumbed to a boring list of things. Apologies to all for the brain farts, but my girlfriend bought Tivo this weekend and all I can really think about is fast forwarding commercials!

We also made a trek up to Napa this weekend on Sunday to check out some timeshare presentation and recieve free hotel accomodations in Hawaii for five days, four nights. Yes, I know this is always a scam, and yes I know that I shouldn't have agreed to it in the first place, but I had nothing else to do so thought it a good idea. But we never even got to the presentation. Even though our combined income was above the range they were looking for, because we didn't live together, we weren't eligible for their sales pitch! The only time I've ever been punished for not "living in Sin!"

So instead we went to one of our favorite stops in Sonoma Valley, Domaine Carneros, had some champagne, ate some cheese, bought a bottle of champagne, and proceeded to have a better time than we would have touring the "cottages" that were actually just glorified single wides!

And on Saturday night we went to a lovely party in Berkeley where I not only drank more than I should have, talked about blogging more than is really healthy, but also had a random conversation about adolescent abstinence from a non-religious perspective (oh yeah, I also told "the camel joke"). One of the last things I remember as Danielle dragged me out the door, was yelling out my blog address to some random guy who's name was Dan, but I called Doug.

So if you were there, and now you are here, please leave a comment so I will know the effectiveness of my drunken ramblings.

"An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools." -Ernest Hemingway

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