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Sunday, February 26, 2006

Sunday Morning Coming Down...

This morning I woke up horribly early and had the need to do something. (it probably stemmed from me not finding a coloring book at Safeway yesterday)

So in my ongoing quest to master Photoshop, I created a banner for danielle's site.

She helped with the colors, and of course, was my inspiration as well.

I think I learned some lessons from last time about size and resolution, and I used this site to help me with the template formatting (thanks to her again for pointing me in that direction).


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Friday, February 24, 2006

Turning Crap into Roses!

In case my dorkiness is in question, I submit the following story for your review:

So today at work I had 123 account modifications to make. For those of you who don't know, that's quite a bit. It would probably take most of my coworkers a couple of hours to do.

Its a very boring and mundane task that I especially loathe. But, like I always do when I have stuff like this to do, I simply pull up some music, put on my headphones, and turn it all the way up. Today's choice was Queen.

So about halfway through I decided to make it more fun. I don't know if it was the Queen, I don't know if I've been watching too much Olympic coverage, but in my head I wasn't just performing a mundane task, I was competing in the National Account Modification competition and was competing with the best around the country. I set myself a time limit to be done by and set about to beating the world record (which doesn't exist).

I even had announcers in my head making commentary about my progress. Things like "Ooh, its mistakes like that, that could cost him the gold." But I didn't let the naysayers get in my way.

I trudged on, quickly making the changes.

It was right down to the wire, but I ended up finishing five minutes sooner than the time I set, and completing all the changes in about 45 minutes!

And of course, as I was completing the final few, "We are the Champions!" came on and boy did I feel like one! Nothing like a little Freddie Mercury to get you pumped about nothing.

"But it's been no bed of roses
No pleasure cruise -
I consider it a challenge before the whole human race -
And I ain't gonna lose -

We are the champions - my friends
And we'll keep on fighting - till the end -
We are the champions -
We are the champions
No time for losers '
Cause we are the champions - of the world" -Queen

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Tuesday, February 21, 2006

I have the greatest girlfriend...

...and we just got married! Our picture is below. Thank you all for all the kind things you said at the wedding and for all the great gifts from Williams Sonoma, I know we'll be very happy!

I'm sure she will be cooking me lots of great meals!

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Rachel Ray + Tim = Perfect!

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Monday, February 20, 2006


So I have updated to a new template, just so you will all have something to bitch about.

This is currently template #3 for those of you keeping count.

I just found that the old one was a little too busy, and I wanted to take things in a new direction.

I find the white a little too bright, but I think I will adjust ok.

I know you will miss the pictures on the toolbar, but I hope you will enjoy that's it now easier to read.

I may play with the colors over the next few weeks, but after working on this all day, this is where I have settled.

And oh yeah, Happy Presidents Day! I hope you didn't have to be in the office today like I did.

"Time may change me, but I can't trace time" -David Bowie

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Garage Sale

So ever since I have been little, my family has had a garage sale about twice a year. And my parents were professionals. We had clothing rods hanging from the garage ceiling year round to hang the clothes from. My dad would use all his sawhorses to set up large tables, and we were up at the crack of dawn to sell all of our crap.

We would typically make about $200-300 a sale, and the money would always go to new stuff for us.

This is why I was so excited to have a garage sale this weekend!

Over the past few weeks,
danielle and I have been going through our closets and taking out clothes, going through my garage, and finding old housewares no longer used, and performing a general cleanout of all our crap.

We asked a few other couples to join in, and we had ourselves a regular Multi-family Garage sale. The ad was posted on Craigslist, and we were ready to go.

All week the weather had been threatening rain on Saturday, so we were a little afraid that we would get rained out, but we prepared for the best!

At the ripe old hour of 7 am, we dragged ourselves out of bed for the sale. We first had to get everything set up. We put up clothing rods in the garage, but rather than being dowel rods, they were made from an old pool cue, and a garden hoe. I had an old cat scratching post/climbing tree, that we used to display our old shoes. We used a ping pong table for our crap and we were ready to go.

The weather held out till about lunch time, and then we packed it all back into the garage. We did the same thing again on Sunday morning as well.

After all this hard work and preparation, our garage sale probably made about $200.

After all this hard work and preparation, I personally cleared about $8.00.

Maybe next time, I'll just sleep in!

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Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Happy Valentine's Day

Today is Valentine's Day, and I wish a happy one to you all! I know not all of you are with someone, but on Valentine's Day, no one should be alone. So I leave you with the immortal words of Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young...

If your gal can't come to you
And you don't remember who your talking to
Your concentration slips away
Because your baby, she is so so far away

Don't be angry
Don't be sad
Don't sit cryin' for good times you had
There's a girl right next to you
And she's waiting for something to do

Turn your heartache into joy
She's a girl and your a boy
Get together, make it tonight,
You ain't gonna need no more advice

And if you cant be with the one you love,
Love the one your with!

Love the one your with

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Tuesday, February 07, 2006

My Dinner with Trouble!

So I recently had dinner with a friend, who we'll call Frank Courtney Nicodemus for security reasons. Nicodemus, recently got out of the Marine Corp and now works for a certain group in Washington who we probably shouldn't talk about. For those of you who know, keep it to yourselves!

Well Nicodemus was in town for a conference on something or other and I ended up making it into the city one night for drinks, and the next day to show him the stinky sea lions at Fisherman's Wharf (to which he replied, we have those in San Diego).

We talked about many things that I probably won't post here (mainly because they were about wives and girlfriends), but there are a few exceptions I was granted.

First off, I was just impressed to hear that he reads this thing. I mean I post and post, and yell at you people to read, turns out you actually do.

I figured while I had someone in government in my grasp I would ask all the questions I really wanted to know. So I asked him about the whole government wiretap issue, and is Bush listening to me talk to my girlfriend about whether or not we are going to have pasta for dinner? (Of course the more likely would be him listening to my friend from college Muhommed call his parents in Bangladesh)

His answer was (and I was drunk at the time, so I hope I get all this right) "Tim, if there is one thing I want you to blog about, it is this." Basically, what he said is that Bush can hand down all the wiretaps he wants, but the person ultimately legally responsible is the one that runs the tap. So this person with the recording equipment is, for the most part, not going to follow through with the tap unless he feels he can fulfill all the requirements necessary to gain a warrant. They have so many other legitimate requests to process and listen to, that these requests get short shrift. So even though an actual warrant is not being obtained, the listeners are making sure their asses are covered.

The other eye-opening thing I wanted to talk about is that a few of his co-workers were in town for business as well, so we met up with them at an undisclosed restaurant in North Beach. Before we met up, Nicodemus gave me a rundown of the crew. No names, everyone was called just by an initial. So there was M, who did something, there was Sam, who did something else, and there was JT, who was this big guy, who I "don't wanna know what he did". (all letters were changed to protect the innocent)

I get a quick briefing on what to, and not to ask during the dinner. "What do you do?" is completely out, "Where do you work?" is even worse, "what's your last name?" would probably have gotten me shot. Basically, I just kept my mouth shut the whole dinner.

The funny part was, I expected the dinner to be almost mythical. Stories of rappelling down buildings, explosions, hideouts in the desert. Of course, since I have a negative security clearance, and had never met these guys, I don't know why I thought that.

At one point, one of them (I think "Sam") asked me what I do for a living. I wanted to protest that, that wasn't fair since I couldn't ask them, but then I realized they probably already knew, and just told them anyway.

Basically, they sat around and bitched about the office. Their boss was crap, everything could be organized so much better, what was with that stinky guy, and wasn't Archibald (not a real name) so annoying. Basically, all the crap that I bitch about, about my job. That's when I realized, these people are just like me. They get up in the mornings, make coffee, drudge into work, where they sit there in the coffee room and bitch about management.

So even though the combined security clearance at the table outranked God, they put their pants on just one leg at a time, same as me. (but their pants are imperviable to heat, so they can fly around in their jet packs)

I like that he's wearing a suit...

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Monday, February 06, 2006

I got "Shake"d!

So anyone who has ever ridden in the car with me will know, I'm not what one would call a "cautious" driver. I'm definitely not a "defensive" driver, I am what we like to be known as an "offensive" driver. I speed, I'll admit it. I also cut people off, weave in and out of traffic, and do many other "seatbelt tightening" maneuvers. I'm not particularly unsafe, just not as safe as others.

Since I got into my last accident I firmed up my decision to not take things personal on the road.
If someone cuts me off, fine, they did, I drive on.
If someone behind me has their brights on, I'll just go on about my way. I'm not on the freeway to get into petty arguments with people, I'm there to get where I'm going as fast as possible.

A few weeks ago, on my way home from lunch I had a run in with a highschool kid. I was in the wrong lane to turn, and needed to get over, which I did in front of him. I signaled properly, there was room to move over, and I did. Well, being the high school kid he was, body raging with unrequited hormones, slammed on his brakes dramatically, and then went into the ONCOMING LANE OF TRAFFIC (of a four lane road), to get back in front of me. He was actually stopped there for a moment, as we were at a stop sign and there was a car in front of me. I let him in, he goes around the corner, I give him a thumbs up (sarcastic of course) and he slams on the brakes. I stop behind him, and he gets out of his car. Now, I'm not sure what his intentions were at the time, whether to beat my ass a little, or just yell a lot in a street full of traffic, but I never found out. I went around him, where he proceeded to hit my car. Who hits a car? He slammed his hand into my windshield, with no adverse affects, but hopefully he hurt his wrist!

Today, on my home for lunch again, I'm exiting the freeway when a jerk behind me in Dooley pickup ( you know, I think its spelled Dually (for dual rear tires) but I've always thought it the other way, and that's how it will stay) is right on my tail.

Now typically, I will never notice tailgaters for two reasons. One, I'm usually going the fastest and no one is tailgating me, and two, since no one is usually tailgating, I'm usually the one tailgating, and I rarely check my mirrors.

Well, this asshat is riding my tail, and I go to change lanes to the exit lane, he swings around behind me, floors it, and passes me on the shoulder. Now at this point, I have done nothing to this guy other than go more than the speed limit in the right hand lane, with him behind while tailgating the guy in front of me, and allow him to illegally pass me on the shoulder.

He gets in front of me and slams on his brakes!

(this coincidentally enough, is how I got in my last accident, causing me over $2500 in damages, and the other guy scratched his towing ball)

Well, in my whole scheme of not taking things personal on the freeway, I immediately get out of the exit lane, speed up, move about 10 cars ahead of him, and get back in the exit lane. As I'm exiting I'm running a yellow light to make the turn, and as I'm halfway up the hill, I see him coming off the exit to the red light. I smirk to myself, thinking my pacifism has won, Ghandi would be proud (except I was heading to lunch, Ghandi would've wanted me to skip it) and life is good. But as I crest the hill, I think I see the guy turning (when there is no way the light would've turned green that quick) and is coming up the hill.

I'm no too concerned, where I'm heading is a few blocks from the police station, and I can always reroute to there, so I carry on in my usual manner. I stopped at a light, waiting to turn right when I see him two cars behind me.

He pulls into the parking lot next to the light and I hear a [THUNK]. The asshat has lobbed a shake a my car. I believe it was Strawberry.

My milkshake, hits all the cars in yard...

He smirked at me from his car and peeled out of the parking lot. I got his license number.

Like I said, I'm not the best driver, so I've seen plenty of worse things than a shake at my car. I've had cokes thrown out of windows, cigarettes flicked on my windshield at night, I even once had an old man follow me home and call the cops.

But I have never seen someone with so little provocation ( I changed to an exit lane and did not let him go around me) go to such lengths to do so little. Obviously this man is disturbed, so I called the local Po-po on him, not that I'm sure anything will happen.

My question is, what is with you people. Things done on the freeway aren't personal. If I'm going faster than you, I'm not questioning your manhood. If I cut you off, I'm not laughing at your small genitalia. In fact, I don't know you, I've never met you, I don't want to hold anything against you, I just want you to stop going less than the speed limit in the far left lane. That's it! I don't expect you to drive like me, I just want you to get out of my way. If you are trying to keep your children safer on the freeways by thinking you are "slowing" down traffic by going 50 mph in the fast lane, you are sadly mistaken. You are creating more drivers like "shake man" above, and are creating more congestion on the road.

I'm not trying to justify my bad driving habits in any way. I know I should slow down on the freeways, and I'm sure one day I will. But we all have things we need to change about ourselves, and this one is way down on the list.

( I don't tell these things to brag, I'm just being honest with you about my vehicular background, if I wanted to brag I'd tell about the time about 4 years ago, I was going about 100 (maybe 120) on my way home from work when I run over a large feedbag in the road. Well, my car didn't clear it and I ended up dragging this thing under my car until it caught fire (the bag, not the car). It eventually flew out the back of my car, but for a few minutes there it must have looked like I was going re-e-e-e-e-a-a-a-a-lly fast)

Imagine this, but without the girl hanging out the window

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