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Tuesday, March 29, 2005

I'm in Love!

I'm in love with a girl!
She's magnificent, so trim and sexy!
She knows all my favorite songs!
I'm in love with a girl!
Everytime I think I know all her secrets she will surprise me again!
I'm in love with a girl!
She looks just as good clothed as she does in what she came to this world in!
I'm in love with a girl!
She goes everywhere with me!
She's always as close as can be!
I'm in love with a beautiful girl!
Her name is Betty!
And she's my iPod!

"Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life." -Red Auerbach

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Saturday, March 12, 2005

We finally beat those Capitalist pigs, eh Comrades?!

So (just to start things off right) today I have finally achieved musical and technological perfection. That is right, today was the day I became the proud owner of an iPod!

After much debate, research, arguments, crying, and consulting the Elders, I decided not to go with the Mini (not that there's anything wrong with that) and go with its bigger uncle, the 20gb version. I now have the capacity to hold 10,000,000 songs in a package the size of a deck of cards. (ok fine, so its only 5,000 or so)

Every time I've taken my dog on a walk downtown lately, I've passed by one of the 250 Apple stores in the continental US. I'm not sure if it is its sleek lines, propitious white space, large apple, or prevalence of fancy "gear", but I've longed to make a purchase from there. I'm attracted to it like a moth to a flame... or a nerd to technology, i guess...

After drooling all day on my keyboard while viewing the Apple Site (, I hastily packed up all my CD's (to upload tonite) and sped down to the holy of holies (technologically speaking anyway). I found it quite a good sign that I found an open spot right in front of the store (hell, an open spot anywhere in downtown Walnut Creek is worthy of its own blog) and was quickly inside reveling in the majestic glory of many, many floor models. I was soon approached by what I swear was a 14 year old kid, whom I was sure was ready to either laugh at my tech prowess, or give "grandpa" directions to the record store.

He was apparently an employee (or a very helpful street tough) and asked to be of assistance. Just like a boy proudly announcing his intentions to marry their daughter to a girls parents, I announced that "I'm looking to get an iPod." As a good sales rep (or weird street tough) he immediately went into his sales spiel, asking, "What are you going to use it for (old man)?" I determinedly told him I was looking at the 20gb and he knew he'd met a man who he wasn't going to be able to upsell. He determinedly tried anyway, and offered to show me cases for it. I felt bad for him and decided to give them a gander, but quickly told him I would pick one up later. He then proceeded to ring me up, being sure to verify my ID, (again, very unusual behavior for a street tough) and bagged it up and I was happily on my way! (with one of the coolest plastic bags ever, its like a backpack for nerds)

You may think the story's over but its ready to begin (thank you Beastie Boys, Paul Revere). I arrived home and begin the unwrapping process. I'm not usually excited by boxes (I leave that to the cat) but this was awesome. Its in a small black box with an apple on top that opens up like a giant ring box! I could have been having flashbacks, but I swear as the box opened a bright light shone out and a choir of angels sang their joy! Any girl who would not be more impressed with that, than a wedding ring, is not the girl for me!

Things have calmed down immensely since then, I am now in the process of uploading my current CD collection onto it, which is taking longer than I thought, but is well worth the effort. I strongly believe that this will herald in the renaissance of my music... enjoying....

"I listen to my words, but they fall far below, I let my music take me where my heart wants to go!" -Cat Stevens, The Wind

On a post script note, I hate trying to link websites into my blogs! My friend has sent me the way to do it and I have copy and pasted from it, I have typed it all anew, I have cursed, I have thrown things, I have spent atleast an hour continually re-typing it as it should be done and reposting and the shit still does not work. That's it, I've fucking had it! (sorry for the cursing, as you know, I usually try to keep this "family friendly" but this has me so fucking pissed off I want to scream!)

On post post script note, if any one other than Jay wants to offer suggestions on how its done, I will welcome it.

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Friday, March 11, 2005


So I've noticed that 98% of my blogs begin with "so". Its like I'm in the middle of a conversation with all of you, and am beginning an especially witty anecdote. Or perhaps the punchline of an extremely bad pun.
Not that I'm going to change a good thing now, just something I noticed and thought I would bring to your attention.
I'm in the middle of a very good book right now,
Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell , that I highly recommend to all of you nerdy (but not dorky) people out there. So you may not here much from me for the next week or so.
I'm also going on a wee bit of a vacation next week, so you'll just have to settle on re-runs to get your Tim O'Grams fix. But think of all the magical tales when I get back.

Thanks for you Patience, -The Management

"So, I says to the guy, I says 'That's not John Cleese'" -the best punchline to any joke ever told, only problem is that's all of the joke that currently exists.

"Many books are to be read, some are to be studied, and a few are meant to be lived in for weeks." Washington Post's comment on the book cover of my current "residence"

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Thursday, March 10, 2005

...And Then Spring Just Jumps Out At Ya!

So its that time of year again, Spring is finally here. After months of mildly chilly weather and lots of rain, the earth is finally reaping the harvest of winter.

It always seems to catch me by surprise. Its been so crappy these last few months it took me a good four days to realize what all that bright light and refreshing breezes actually were. Then I looked at one of my bonsai on the front porch that everyone insisted was dead, and I claimed was only "wintering", and lo and behold, its sprouting new buds. All the fruit trees in the backyard are in full bloom, and the garden has been cleared of weeds and last years dead plants to make way for our new harvest of vegetables that will end up rotting in the crisper. Soon we'll have a trees laden with figs that no one will eat (let me know if you want some figs by the way) and some fruit that looks like a yellow cherry but tastes like a plum (that the dogs love, but don't digest).

The weather has been positively incredible, begging for golf to be played, dogs to taken to dog parks, and sun to be basked in.

I would have to say that Spring is by far my favorite time of year. All the old from the previous year has gone and is slowly rotting to provide energy for new growth. Everything is fresh and new. I'm a big believer in an extreme outward change to bring about internal growth (like rearranging your room in an effort to "rearrange" your life) Spring is a great time for change and growth, as the world is literally in a period of the same.

I can now see why religions of the past so focused on the seasons. There is something spiritual about the way all life waxes and wanes with the changing year. Plants, animals, all life has adopted a cycle the flows with that of our planet's celestial path across the universe. Its very intriguing the way in which all life flows so effortlessly though its cycle. Maybe that's why most people have problems with their own mortality, they selfishly look at their own existence as the be all, end all, and don't realize their role in the machine that is our planet. Animals, on the other hand, don't think too much about the self, they are much too busy with the finding food and avoiding predators, they, eat, they sleep, they mate, they die. They have accepted that, that is how it is... or have no capacity for acceptance. I think if we look at the life of the entire population of organisms on the planet as a single entity, and that we all have a place and a role in it... mainly, to eat, to sleep, to mate and to die... then everything else just seems much more simple....

...Ok, I'd better stop before I start a cult...
...just got a little caught up in the moment...

Bottom line, go out and enjoy your spring day, those of you lucky enough to live in warm climes, for those on the east coast... well... enjoy your snow!

"For, lo, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone; The flowers appear on the earth; the time of the singing of birds is come, and the voice of the turtle is heard in our land; The fig tree putteth forth her green figs, and the vines with the tender grape, give a good smell. Arise, my love, my fair one, and come away." -Song of Solomon (ch. II, v. 11-12)

"Daughter of heaven and earth, coy Spring,
With sudden passion languishing,
Teaching barren moors to smile,
Painting pictures mile on mile,
Holds a cup of cowslip wreaths
Whence a smokeless incense breathes."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson, May Day

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Wednesday, March 09, 2005

...And Sometimes Fate Just Punches You in Eye.

So over the past month or so I've been pondering on my life and where I've taken it. This all stemmed from back in February during my "Love Is.." articles. In the one where I quoted 1 Corinthians I actually pulled my old Bible off the shelf and blew off the thick layer of dust (both literally and figuratively) on my past self. It was weird, it was like meeting up with an old friend you don't really keep in touch with anymore. I remembered all the times we used to spend together, all the fun we had and all the things I learned. It was a much older and wiser friend who taught me all about how it thought life should be (kinda like that song Night Moves, but without all the "having sex with an older woman" stuff). That same week I heard from my Young Life leader who I had lost contact with for the past 6 years. It was kind of random that both happened so close together. But sometimes fate will give you a nudge in the right direction...

It started me thinking on the kid I was as a freshmen in high school, and the man I thought I wanted to grow into. Then I looked at the man I have actually become and compared the two to see where I thought I was. Of course, this was all non-objective, as it all happened in the head of someone who thinks a little too much of himself(and prefers to speak about himself in the third person as well). The first discovery I made was that the boy had an overwhelming joy for life, and people in general. That boy was ready to devote his life to serving others as a youth minister. The man has become, over time, a little bitter, not so bright eyed and his bushy tail has almost worn away. Both of us believe that "things will work out" whether its due to a Higher Plan or fate. And both surprisingly enough still believe in the thing that gave the boy purpose, though the man doesn't realize it like he used to. The boy wasn't afraid to admit his believe in God to others, the man is not quite as bold.

I think the biggest thing is that, that boy believed in being a worthy man, instead of a man of worth. Of course that boy didn't have any bills to pay. But the man is remembering the boy, the man is working on remembering that money has no answers, only more questions. The man is working on being the worthy man the boy wanted to be. The man has realized his mistakes, and promises not to forget them, but to learn from them. The man has remembered how to find joy in all things great and small, to find wonder in the intricacies of life. The man feels he can stand tall and look that boy in the eye without regrets. Let's just hope the boy is looking back.

"When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things" and then I went to college... (quote from I Corinthians 13:11)

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Monday, March 07, 2005

Tales of the Coccyx...

While laying face down in the snow this weekend, with my feet firmly attached to a board, I made some startling self-discoveries...

Recently, I've been trying to get out of my sedentary life style and take a more active in role in things. I've begun training for a 5 mile run in April, I've been walking the dog more, and this weekend I decided to give snoboarding a shot. My roommate is always giving me a hard time about laying around on the couch a lot, watching TV, so I'm trying to be more active. I've been steadily increasing my distance on my runs and was doing quite well, up to a point, boarding for my first time.

Now, I had a lot of fun this weekend, I got to hang out with some good friends, got to board at a great place, and drank a lot of good beer. I was doing really well in the morning, I was starting to put my weight on front foot, stand up straight, and could get down the entire bunny slope without falling. My last run down before lunch and I ate it big time, fell hard on my butt, smacked my head and nearly lost my sunglassess. My friends then decided to take me to the summit for lunch. Coming down the mountain after lunch should not have been as hard as I made it. It was a fairly simple green run, wide fairways and all that. It could have been the beer, it could have been that I had bruised my
coccyx earlier and everytime I fell on my butt I was ready to die, I'm not sure, but what would've been a 10 minute run on skis for me, turned out to be a 45 minute hell, but made of ice and snow. So sitting (delicately) in the lodge afterwards, beer in hand, shirt soaking wet, I came to the decision that activity is no longer for me.

I'm sticking to the things I enjoy that don't leave me feeling beat up the next day, like hiking, camping, walking the dog, and the occasional ultimate frisbee match (though I did fracture my collar bone in a game one time). You know, the low impact non-couch related activities. I've been trying to live other people's ideas of what makes them happy, only to discover I was happy how I was! Next time my roommate gives me that "my, you're a lazy bum" look, (she has lots of "looks") I'll just go watch TV in my room to avoid it... ...bed's much more comfortable anyway!

"Snowboarding is an acitivity that is very popular with people who do not feel that regular skiing is lethal enough." -Dave Barry

"Snowboarding is way gayer than me having sex with Morrisey." Tony Slater (quote from snowboarding page, )

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Friday, March 04, 2005

To Blog or Not to Blog

So having a roommate considerably older than me (ok, so she's just a year), I often get asked "What's the deal with blo-ggi-ng?" (she has a hard time using technologically explicit terms). I'll often mention, oh, "I just wrote about that in my blog" or "I was reading a friends blog" and she'll lower her book on some fantasy crap with dragons on the cover and give me a "My you're quite a nerd" look. And not the "My you're quite a nerd, get your scrawny ass over here and show me some of that nerd loving!" look (not that, that would be appropriate for roommates anyway). But she's got me to thinking... What is with all this blogging crap!
Why do I feel the need to type away my lunch hour with useless prattlings about quarters and local news? Why do any of you? Is it my need to feel the center of attention? Is it my hope that some publisher will stumble across my page and "discover" me? Is it my underlying desire to type a continuous stream of questions while providing no answers? Hell, if I know!

I do it because its fun. I do it because I like writing. I do it cause it allows me to enter this fantasy world where what I do for a living is this, all day. I sit in my office with large bay windows overlooking the Adriondaks/Lake Tahoe/Town Lake/The vast nothing that is Montana. Take your pick. I wake up around 9 or 10, shuffle around the house in my robe, make some coffee or tea, sit out on the porch in the early morning fog enjoying my one cigarette of the day. Head up to my office, taking time to reach down and scratch Bandit behind the ear. Write for four or five hours then spend the rest of the day hiking/swimming/running/throwing the ball for the dog/lounging around/playing with the kids I'll have someday/cooking dinner for when the wifey gets home from her "city" job/etc.
Whoa, sorry, I got in a little deep there.

I have recently decided I will no longer utter the phrase "...but what I really wanna do it write" for a few reasons.
a)everybody and their dog says that, and more than half of them shouldn't
Ok, so there was only one reason, but I feel its valid.... so suck it!

Seriously though, I think its because, even though I don't get paid for this, I do it just because I enjoy writing. This is an outlet for all my pent up creativity. This hopefully will help develop my talent, instead of having is slowly waste away. Because anything unused will begin to atrophy from lack of use.

So once again, here we are at the end, did we discover any universal truths? Did we answer my roommates questions? Did we count up all the question marks in this article? No!
But did we all learn a little bit more about ourselves?
I certainly hope not, if so seriously, seek help... even if it's just Dr. Phil.

"Someone once said they had a love affair with words, I have a love affair with his!"
-by far the best thing ever said about my writing... {cough, Texas, cough} ... maybe that, after all, is why I write... ...for my fans!

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