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Thursday, June 15, 2006Another Comments Section Relationship Gone Bad
I started blogging in November of 2004. At that time, I was single and living in a new city and trying to meet new people. I was on Friendster, MySpace, and hitting up random people on Craigslist looking to walk their dog around the Lafayette Reservoir. One of the random girls I was trying to pick up on Friendster had a blog on blogger. After reading it for a few weeks, and checking out other sites on blogger, I decided this was something I could do, in fact, something I've always wanted to do. Thus began the majesty that is my blog.
Well, this same Friendster girl and I continued to read each other's blogs and would send the occasional e-mail. I enjoyed reading what she had to say, and she at least pretended to enjoy my claptrap. I'd seen pictures of her here and there, knew minor details about her life, but we weren't really friends, just e-friends.
Then around the holiday season I received an invite to a Christmas party she was throwing. "Should I do this?" I asked myself, Should I break the fourth wall and meet this person who I had built up this ideal of? Well, I decided I should indeed meet this ethereal person and actually put flesh and bone to the ideal.
First off she was shorter than I expected. And of course other little things of who I thought this person was were completely wrong. The party was fun. We didn't know many people, and I had to drive back, so I couldn't get drunk enough to be social with strangers. But we had a good time and it was good to meet her in person.
But then I stopped reading her blog. It wasn't really a conscious choice, a "She's not who I thought she should be so I won't read it" type of thing. I just didn't find myself clicking on her link as often. Of course, that was about the time she changed her blog site, and I was doing a site redesign, and it was the holiday season, but it wasn't until about a month or so ago that she made it back into my usual repertoire.
Now comes the problem. One of Danielle's college friends, whose blog I read religiously, is coming out to visit in a few weeks. My problem is, what if she's completely different from what I expect and then I stop reading her blog too?! That would be too much for me to take! Her's is one of the few that I will laugh out loud to. So loud, in fact, it disturbs my co-workers causing a groundhog-like pop-up of heads over cube walls. Who else will I learn about phone flare from? Who else can I relate to about mistaken cat identity?
I'm sure she is great. I'm sure we'll all have lots of fun when she visits. But I still have a hesitation about it. We get along so well in our comments sections, what if that doesn't relate over to real life? What if we can only handle each other in terms of quipped one liners?
Oh Internet 2.0! You and your increased social networking capacity are driving me insane!
Ok, I will try and be like Buddha. I will have no expectations. Expectations lead to failure, which leads to fear, which leads to anger, which leads to hate, which leads to me eating at Panda Express! I will go into this meeting of wits with no ideals, no standards, and no expectations of height. I just have to remember... ....be like Buddha... ...be like Buddha...
...be like Buddha...