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Friday, June 10, 2005Long Lost Myths II
How Cats fooled Man into letting them poop in a box in the house...
Ok, so I have been working on this big long article in my head (where all great things start) and was getting ready to put it down on silicon for you. It was going to be very similar to the one about dogs below, but instead looking about how cats manipulated woman into letting them sleep in the house, poop where the sleep, and otherwise set man up as their master. Well, turns out it was more a ingenious plot than that.
Apparently cats have been practicing mind control all along. Read this for proof. No wonder cats are such great mousers, they are removing the mices fear of them to make them easier to catch. They are making men filthy and women slutty. So women, if you own a cat, next time your man doesn't put the toilet seat down or continues with his inability to find the dirty clothes hamper, don't blame him, blame the cat you insisted you own. Men, when your woman starts sleeping around on you, don't blame her, blame the cat you got her for your aniversary because you were too lazy to find a really thoughtful gift.
Maybe that's why the economy prospered during Clinton's presidency. For the first time in many years (if ever) there was a feline running the oval office! Socks was the secret power behind the power (Hilary), behind the power (Bill).
How crafty the cat has become! Apparently stealing our infants' breath wasn't enough, they have begun the mind control process. It is only too soon until tuna production is increased, and leash laws on dogs are heightened.
I for one welcome our feline overloads, and would like them to know I can be very helpful in keeping the other puny humans in line in their massive catnip fields.
I would voice my indignity more, but my cat is calling and I hate making him wait.
In the Netherlands, cats were not allowed in rooms where private family discussions were going on. The Dutch believed that cats would definitely spread gossips around the town. - Netherlands superstition
"In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this." ~Terry Pratchett
[Ah, but this last quote perhaps gives me a new direction, we will have to wait and see...]