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Thursday, June 30, 2005


In what can only be described as an overtly cruel and horrible death, Elmo's body has been found down by the docks early this morning by marina workers.

Elmonroe P. Yarnenbloom, spokesman for popular TV show Sesame Street, and recently known for his outrageous behavior and rampant partying with Paris Hilton and Tara Reid, an obscene gambling addiction, and rumors of drug abuse, was found dead this morning and floating in the harbor.

From his meager beginings as an infrequent character on "The Street", as kids are calling it, he quickly rose to popularity with his Tickle Me doll. And it appears someone took his offers to heart.

Though police are hesitant to say what occured, one anonymous cop took a break from throwing up to tell us it appears he was violently tickled to death.

Officers are on the lookout for a short green fellow who has a
penchant for trash cans and bad attitudes, but they have not ruled out a mob hit by the newly active Puppet Mafia.

Calls to Big Bird and his press agent have not been returned.

Posted by timothy :: Direct Link 1 comments

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