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Monday, July 25, 2005

Overheard in the news today...

So you know me, and you know I'm not one to overly comment on what going on in the news, but I read two articles today that caught my eye and I felt I needed to share.

The first news article comes with a personal story. From the time I was about 6 (or whatever age it was when I got my first plastic snake) I would frequently sneak into my parents bathroom before bedtime and place a plastic snake coming out of the toilet like it was going to bite you. See, my mom was a night pee-er (you know who you are people) and would frequently awaken in the wee hours to groggily walk to the bathroom. I look back fondly on the days when I would wake up at 3 a.m. to the otherworldly shrieks of my mother, which were soon followed by a cursing of her second born (me). I always found it amazing that something that cost only a few cents could cause so much havoc.

This almost backfired only once. It was a long hot day in Texas and a big bull snake (hell, I'm no herpetologist, could've been a rat snake, hell, I don't even know if these are real names of snakes, but this one was large, long, non-poisonous and black and we called it a bull snake) had slithered up onto to the porch to get out of some of the heat and bask in the shade directly in front of our front door. Well, my mom initially thought it was a prank of mine and was about to walk out and pick it up when she saw the tongue move. I still got in trouble... anyway, story that made me think of this story right

Oh, that's right I said two stories... well, how bout this:

Cats won't eat sweet-tarts or pie, but they would love to eat your face once you die!
[just realized that rhymes. Wow! I'm a poet and wasn't even aware of that fact]
Full details
right here!

"What happened to Grandma?" -Francis
"Cats ate her face." -Dewey
"What?" -Francis
"Cats ate her face." -Dewey
"Is anyone else there? Let me talk to dad." -Francis
"Hello Francis" -Dad
"What happened to grandma?" -Francis
"Cats ate her face, here talk to Dewey, he knows all the details!" -Dad
[paraphrased from Malcolm in the Middle]

"If you see a snake, just kill it - don't appoint a committee on snakes." -Ross Perot

Posted by timothy :: Direct Link 2 comments

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