Friday, September 16, 2005

shy

So I'm sure no one who knows me will believe this, but I can be incredibly shy around people I have just met. So recently I discovered a very rude habit of mine. When meeting someone new I will often totally ignore them. I will talk to other people that I know, but my body language and everything will indicate that the new person isn't even around.

Its not something I mean to do, I'm not being rude on purpose, but I can't help it.

It also works with people I'm uncomfortable around. Like the girl I dated in high school who told me that she still liked me after we broke up, and I told her I would call her back cuz the Simpson's were on, and I didn't call her back for like 3 months. (I did have Mono at the time, and she did give it to me!) Then I met her again like 6 years later while hanging out with some of my other highschool friends and I completely ignored her, I might have even have spoken about her in the third person while she was sitting right there! Eventually I talked directly to her again, we even went out a couple of times, but I think she was just being nice!

I'm pretty sure that I am just afraid that I will say something stupid, and said person will think I'm a complete loser for forever. But eventually, the ice is broken and the seals will come out to play. (See, say something stupid, like that!)

"Shyness has a strange element of narcissism, a belief that how we look, how we perform, is truly important to other people. " - Andre Dubus
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