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Tuesday, January 10, 2006

The box revolution will not be televised!

I'm watching television last night (big surprise) and there was a commercial on for some phone company. There were a bunch of people wearing boxes over their bodies, having difficulties doing everyday tasks. Their slogan was "feeling boxed in" by your current provider of something.

This got me thinking of the current oppression that boxes are facing in today's society. Ever since "think outside the box" became popular, boxes everywhere have been undervalued for their major role in society.

The history of the box is a long a tragic story. Originally invented by the Egyptians, the design was quickly scrapped except for it use in building other geometric shapes such as the pyramid, and obelisk.

It wasn't until around 500 AD that the box came back into favor. A monk named Johan Boxenhauer brought the current design back into popular use with he invention, the six-sided holder of things. As the name was very complicated, the device was not used with fervor until after his death, when it was renamed in his honor.

There have been many variations of the box over the years, the moving box, snuff box, knife box, and the simpler "work box", but it has always enjoyed fame until the last 15 years or so.

you put your snuff in there...

Though the recent phrase "think outside the box" has fueled the every increasing box hatred, leading to what some experts are dubbing "boxism", the origins of box hatred can be found throughout time. It only takes a simple Google search of "box" to pull up the first, and most maligned box, Pandora's. While some view her story as a lesson on the damages of curiosity, it is obviously the first attempt by the media to get people to hate the box. Who wouldn't hate a device that loosed all evil unto the world, while keeping hope locked away from us all.

I call for us all to remember the glory of the box. It comes in many forms and sizes, and is always ready and willing to contain our stuff. In fact, I bet any one of you readers have to look no farther than your own person to find atleast three things that have at one time been in a box.

Moving from your current crap hole you call home to your future residence "in the hills" would not be possible without a box.

Most of those items you would be packing in the aforementioned boxes, came to you in box form.

And all of those boxes came to you from overseas in large metallic boxes that are placed on ships.

The glories of the box over other shapes are many, easy stack-ability being only one.

Its shape alone is so popular that all of our homes and office structures mimic its design. How popular is the geodesic dome home design, I ask you?

...more like DON'T-decahedron...

When we are born, we are placed in a boxlike crib, and when we die, we are placed into a box before the ground. The box is the alpha and omega of our life, yet we continue to persecute it while living.

Cats everywhere enjoy their use daily, and dogs feel comforted at night by their comfy, closed in, cave-like feel.

Even the popular fast food chain Jack-in-the-box, which literally blew up Jack and his box in the early 90's, quickly learned the value of the box when sales continued to plummet. It wasn't until the return of Jack (and his box) that they made a new name for themselves.

So I encourage you in corporate America to get back to thinking "inside the box." Its four walls and sturdy bottom could be exactly the structure and stability this country is needing.

Instead of feeling that being "boxed in" is a bad thing, think about the warmth and security that box is providing you.

Some will still say "think outside" it, but I will remain a firm believer in the greatest invention since the wheel and sliced bread:

The Box!

Eastern Box Turtle: fan of the box

Posted by timothy :: Direct Link 2 comments

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