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Friday, August 19, 2005

Time Travel Business Solutions

So this is something I've been thinking about for a long time... Practical applications for time travel, once it is discovered.

The Temporal Microwave:
This fantastic device will cook your food the old fashioned way, but your food will be ready instantly. You simply put your raw food in the microwave, hit the button, and your food is sent back in time, where it is prepared by world class chefs, then sent back in time to the instant you pressed the button. BAM! Your food is not only ready sooner, but you've just cooked the best Thanksgiving dinner you've ever "warped" in record time!

Timewave Pizza:
You call in your order, and your pizza is at the door before you can even hang up the phone, perfect for late nite munchies.

Old World Washing Machine:
You simply put your laundry in the washing machine, select the wash cycle (including dry cleaning) and your laundry is sent back into the past to be delicately washed, dried and pressed by an old Chinese couple in the 1920's who know what quality is all about and it immediately shows up in your dryer, folded or on hangers.

Whenever Antique Store:
Can't find that Louis XIV end table to complete your living room? Having a hard time getting the original Star Wars Action Figures? No luck in locating an original Chinese Terra Cotta Soldier? Wish you still had Grandma's antique necklace? No problem for Whenever antiques, we employ only the best thiefs, grifters, and "temporal relocators" in the business. We'll send one of our qualified agents back in time to beg, borrow or steal whatever item you have lost or need. Why go to the hassle of sneaking through old castles, hiding from guards yourself, when for a small fee our experts will do it for you. Quality and authenticity 100% guaranteed!

Procastinators Inc:
Saved studying for that test to the last minute? Wish you had read the entire book instead of just a snippet? Haven't finished your work presentation and the meeting is in five minutes? No problem, simply use one of our patented Last Minute Nooks and not only will we give you the time you need, but you also get to choose the place. How about reading your book in Yosemite valley before even the Native Americans discovered it. Perhaps you think better on a deserted island at the dawn of time. Have a test on Ancient Rome? We'll send you to ancient Rome, and you can study there. So remember, if you like putting things off till the last minute, call Procastinators Incorporated! We'll give you the time you need. (Disclaimer: All travel relating to tests must be completed before you have actually sat down for the test!)

Any other ideas for practical Time Travel applications? Let me know.

"There's no future in time travel." -Anonymous

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