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Thursday, March 08, 2007Support those around you!I wanted to let all of you know about a couple of great things that some of my friends are doing. First off, Jon Goodman (not the actor) is running (and biking and swimming) in a Triathalon to support the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society (LLS) and he needs your support in raising funds. Jon has been training hard for months to prepare for a gruelling triathalon in Galveston, TX on April 1st. His individual goal is to raise $3,000 to contribute to his team's goal of $80,000 for the LLS. You can check out his blog to see how his training has progressed, or you can go directly to his donation site to make a contribution. He only has a few weeks left to hit his goal, so any help you could give would be appreciated! So hold off on sending me all that birthday money, and contribute to help fight Leukemia and Lymphoma instead. Secondly, for those of you passing through the Fresno area this weekend, my friend Tony Bonds is putting on his short play about a man who sold his soul on the internet at the 2007 Rogue Performance Festival. His show received a blurb in the Fresno Paper, and a full write up about his greatness in the campus paper, The Collegian. Tony also frequently updates his blog with some of his stories and thoughts about creative writing. Check him out now, while his show's are only $10. Maybe one day you could say you knew him way back when...   
Thursday, March 01, 2007More signs of my upcoming birthday...There's a hole, there's a hole, there's a hole in the bottom of the sea. No word yet on whether there is a frog on a log on the hole. And there will be the first lunar eclipse that we've had in the last 2.5 years, ON MY BIRTHDAY! Of course, I live in the only part of the world that won't see it. Have a great weekend everyone!
Tuesday, February 27, 2007Its all happening...So first it was the birds... Now the bees have started disappearing... Then Castro rose from the dead to do his radio show... MacGyver has been reborn into a 13 year old boy in Florida, Now they've found Jesus' box. All of this cataclysm can only mean one thing... My birthday is coming up! So mark your calendars and get your packages in the mail, I'm turning OLD! Luckily, since my girlfriend "surprised" me with a trip to LA, I won't have much time to think about old father time chasing me down.  Richard Dean Anderson would buy me an iBook for my birthday...
Monday, February 19, 2007I'm Not Insane After All...For the longest time I have been trying to find someone else who remembers a cartoon I watched in the 80's to no avail. I was begining to think I made the whole thing up. It was about a boy who turned into a sports car when ever his temperature would rise. Finally I have found proof that it exists, thanks to this list that Do Dah mentioned in a recent post. It was called turbo teen, and here is the intro! Finally, I can sleep soundly again at night!
Friday, February 16, 2007I Pray for Destruction......Of outdoor pests. Recently while perusing some links on other sites, I found a list from Amazon on gifts you definitely should not get your loved one for Valentine's Day. Between the Ninja Hand Claw, and Fresh Whole Rabbit (not the kind you let your kids play with), I found the perfect item. Now, while it was too late to get it in time for Valentine's Day, and I did not need a gift for anyone else, I decided to splurge a little on myself. So arriving in the mail on Monday, will be my box of two, yes two, cocoons full of hundred's of tiny Praying Mantids. I'm so excited I could burst. In the next few months, I will have my own legions of Praying Mantids. I can just see them now, all lined up in battle formation, ready to kill the evil hosts of attacking flies, wasps and other outdoor pests.  Praying for the death of his enemies The name mantis, comes from the Greek word for prophet, or fortune teller. But the only future these mantids will see is one bathed in the blood of the insectoid. They will be my unholy army of the backyard, and they will succeed. I will bite the heads off the losers in disgust, and the winners will be chosen to carry on their victorious genes by enjoying all the pleasures a female mantis has to offer... ...before having their heads bitten off by her.  Yes my loyal subject, feast on the blood of the backyard infidels They will start with the backyard, but soon will encompass the neighborhood, taunting the dogs, providing a toy for the cats, delighting the children, and impressing the church going. But the insectoids will be cowering in fear from the Green Fist of Justice! ...except for maybe one lucky mantis. Him I will bring inside and nurture, protect, and educate in the ways of sarcasm. Then get him a gig as the sidekick on a talk show.  Zorak
Thursday, February 08, 2007New Links!I've updated my links to other blogs on the right over there with some blogs from my friends that I want to start reading more of. If you are tired of me not posting regularly, you may enjoy reading theirs. As we have similar backgrounds, and they have had an influence on my life (and maybe I've had some influence on theirs) you may find some surprising similarities. Miracle of a Rare Device - my friend Tony who is now in creative writing school, lots of short stories and thoughts on writing Cathedral for Awhile - An amalgam of the efforts of a few of my friends. Videos, stories, poems, etc. Unsquare Dance - Jeff James' site. A lot of pop culture references, techno-babble, and other random things. He's "following his fish", and if you you know what that means, you are two steps ahead of me Enjoy!
Tuesday, February 06, 2007Atleast one Lord sees it my way...A rebuttal to the article in the previous post: HERE! Finally, someone else sees that when you combine meterological, economic and demographic FORECASTING into one hypothesis, you end up with a lot of room for uncertainty. Of course, when the author of the paper was confronted with one of the claims that his description of carbon trading could end up being "capricious and corrupt" his response was: "It is not a very analytical use of language and I don't think it bears scrutiny frankly. " Ah, atleast he was classically trained in the art of the run around.
Thursday, February 01, 2007Blogger "very likely" wrong on this...So I saw this article on BBC about a report by the IPCC (Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change... r-tard!). It states, well, I'll just let you read it here. For those of you too lazy to lift that right finger and click above, I'll tell you the subject of my amusement/disgust. The first paragraph starts out: "Climatic changes seen around the world are "very likely" to have a human cause, the IPCC will conclude." "Very Likely?!?" Is that the best we can do these days? Sounds like lazy science to me. If I had turned in a paper in 7th grade, stating that my dissected frog, "very likely" had a spleen, I would've gotten an "F". Can't these scientists wait until all facts are in before jumping to conclusions? Sure it may take a few hundreds years until they even get to "pretty darn sure" about this, but isn't accuracy better than speed? Now I'm not saying that I don't believe in Global Warming, the world is definitely heating up, I'm just debating whether or not we are cause. Sure, the average ocean temperature is rising slightly every year. Sure, the rate at which it increases is climbing. Yeah, we had one of the worst hurricane seasons in years recently (followed by a very mild one). And sure, glaciers are melting, we are losing ice shelves, and penguins are moving to San Diego (or something), but isn't it possible that we are not the sole, or even "very likely" candidate for this change? Scientists have found records of the Earth being warmer than it is now, in its past. Could it simply be that we are still warming up from the previous ice age. Antarctica had to be warm enough at one point for birds to move there (and eventually evolve into aforementioned penguins, wait, do scientists still believe in Darwin?) There are millions of years of climate and weather data that we have no records of. It is very possible that what we are going through is quite normal. I'm just saying, maybe we should all take a step back, and stop taking the blame for everything that changes in the world around us. A quasar just exploded 400 light years away, is it because of something I did? (probably) Obviously, we need to conserve our resources, using them wisely. But lets not take complete blame for something that could be as simple as the fact that the dragon who lives in the Earth's core has a fever. After all, it was these same "scientists" who wrote that paper a few hundred years ago entitled, "Earth 'very likely' center of the universe." And a few thousand years before that, "Earth 'most indubitably' on the back of a giant cosmic turtle" 
Friday, January 05, 2007MMMMMMMMMMNo, I have not just devoured something tasty, I am celebrating 10,000 hits to this site in the Roman Numeral style. For those of you who haven't noticed, I have now reached over 10,000 hits to my blog since I started it November of 2004. Not too bad for a site I started to while away the hours at work. Thank you all for reading my idle ramblings these past 2 or so years, and thanks to those of you who encouraged and harassed me when I wasn't posting. Now, to make this more than a milestone post, I'll leave you with my current thoughts. If this world really is just some higher being playing their version of The Sim's, I really wish my user would find a cheat code for more money. HINT: It could very well be ROSEBUD, !;!;!;!;!;!;!;!;!;!; Happy New Year to you all, and may your sites receive more traffic than you ever dreamed!  I like Ike!
Tuesday, January 02, 2007Thus Spake Zarathustra... Of all the titles I thought of while contemplating this post about my New Years, I felt that this was the most esoteric. For those of you who think I am the be all/end all of existence, and haven't read this, I shall let you know a brief bit about my New Year's Eve. We ended going with friends to some house that was supposed to be in "the city" but ended up being just outside in an area called Bayview, most likely because of its view of the bay. For those of you unfamiliar with the area, if we had known it was in Bayview, we probably wouldn't have gone. But that would have been a mistake. After getting off the freeway and driving down a few narrow streets that the term "ghetto" would more aptly apply to than "suburbs", we arrived a what appeared to be a small rundown, century old dwelling. After climbing a series of shallow concrete stairs that would've given a mountain goat pause we entered a magical wonderland of surprise. This house was much nicer than it appeared from the street, and much more spacious than you would believe. It was indeed built over a 100 years ago, and has been in the current owners family since her great-grandparents built it in the early 1900's. The best part of it was the huge yard they had. There was an enormous treehouse that would make any 8 year old drool, a large cistern looking thing that was actually a sauna, numerous fire pits around the yard for warmth, and the largest Jade tree I have ever seen. The party was great, there was an interesting mix of people, yada yada yada.  Imagine this, but lifesize! What I really wanted to talk about was the prevelance of a certain element throughout the night and how that may influence my new year. I've already mentioned the firepits placed about the yard, but there were also fire dancers there as well. Fire on sticks, fire on chains, fire on hoops and girls on fire, she put it out very quickly, don't worry. Maybe I was the only one who noticed all the fire, someone else could have pointed out the Bay, glasses of water, water in the toilet bowl, etc., but fire is what I noticed. Most likely it was my consumption of alcohol that led to my ponderance of fire, by the fire, but whatever it was, I couldn't help but wonder what all of this fire portends for my new year.
My filthy, disgusting habit of smoking is meeting its destruction this year. Hopefully, in its ashes a Phoenix of good health will be re-born to cleanse that tar out of my lungs. And hopefully it will not cause me to wax poetic quite so often. It has been a long hard road of quitting, with many false starts, but I'm confident this time will stick.  So it could be that my new year will be full of change and excitement, perhaps wealthy excitement. Fire has also been used as a symbol for passion and love. Of course, it could also mean that since fire is the basic element of life, that its time for me to get back to the basics and grow from there.Whatever this new year holds, I'm looking forward to it. I've got a great job, a wonderful girfriend, four great pets, well a great dog and 3 mediocre cats, and this is probably the first New Years I've ever spent actually excited about what is to come. Let's hope I didn't just jinx it. 
Sunday, December 31, 2006Wiiiiiiiiiiii!Over the holidays, I had my first chance to take a look at the new Nintendo Wii. I had enjoyed all the prior consoles, from the original NES up through the N64, but did not have a lot of contact with the Gamecube, and never heard good things. Well Nintendo is back and the Wii is incredible! I was worried that the controls would be complicated, or unresponsive. But after 5 minutes of playing the new Zelda, they controls felt like an extension of my body. Its a very interactive experience. Using the remote to jab and slash as well as to aim for projectile weapons, really makes the gameplay more immersive and active. I also got to play Wii Sports for a little while as well. My first game of tennis was just like being on the court. Your character will make it to the ball, so all you have to do is swing. Serving is just like in real life, allowing you to mimic the actual action of serving the ball. There is also a bowling, boxing and baseball game inlcuded with the system. The boxing one was quite exhausting, Danielle is still sore, and the bowling game involves quite a bit of finesse.  The motion controls in the remotes are amazing, they respond accurately to movements you make and there is virtually no lag time. It seems like the Wii has finally accomplished everything the original Nintendo tried to do with all its crazy accessories for the NES in one small and compact remote. It acts a as a lightgun for shooting games, a PowerGlove for moving the cursor around the screen, and a running pad for sports games. On most games I played, even though you can use small movements with the remote while sitting just as effectively, it is much more fun to stand and move about. Although my actual play time on the maching was fairly limited, I had to compete with my girlfirend's 3 siblings for one controller, I am totally hooked on the Wii. 
Tuesday, December 19, 2006Update on My Goings On!Well, its been so long since I posted something, I was afraid I'd lost my log-in. After remembering that, I'm now afraid I've forgotten how to write. But since fear never gets you anywhere, I must press on. The new job is going great. I'm really liking working for a small company as opposed to a large multi-national gig, as it is a lot more personal and flexible. I started this blog mainly as a diversion from my old job, well, that and to pick up chicks. Now that I have a job I'm happy with (and that keeps me busy), and a girlfriend who won't let me pick up chicks, I don't have the time at work to devote to this as I once did. Now don't go and start thinking that I've given up on writing on here, or that I'll only post every six months. But I definitely don't have the free time at work that I used to, so I'll just have to find some of my own time to do it in. Maybe if one of you wanted to buy me a new laptop for Christmas (click here for details) I would be able to roam around my house and yard, utilizing our wireless network at home at be more prone to post. Maybe you could chip in with some friends. It's up to you, the reader, to support the art you enjoy partaking of. Right now I'm contemplating a new header for the top of the page, so stay tuned for further developments on that. Other than that, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. I hope your new year is merry and bright, and all that jazz.
Friday, September 01, 2006New Job!So the big news that I have been sitting on for the past week is that I have a new job! For those of you who don't know, I was miserably unhappy at my last job, and used it as an opportunity to get paid while looking for a much better one. And that, I think, I have found. It's with a small company, there are 3 people in my office including myself, and a lot more flexible than my old job. I'm nearing the end of my first week, and think I will like it very much. There's a big difference between working for a HUGE multi-national corporation, and a smaller 15 person company. I think I am going to like it here, and I hope to stay awhile. So if you have been wondering how I was able to stay out of the Pluto debate, not put my two cents in on the rising cost of oil prices, or why I haven't updated you on the various food products thrown at my car, it is because I'm busy at work, trying to learn everything I can as quick as I can. My mood in general has definately improved, so you definately have some more updates coming at you fairly soon, you just might have to wait a few weeks. See you soon.
Friday, August 25, 2006Friday's LeavingsI never really realized how incredibly gross pizza can be, and how inevitably older I am getting. There was a time, not five years ago, when my diet wavered between an unhealthy addiction to Hot Pockets, and an even unhealthier relationship with the pizza delivery person. That was basically all that I ate for dinner for months on end. Even a year ago I would order pizza one or two times a month. Well, living with a woman will change you in many ways, one of which being that pizza is no longer an acceptable solution for fullfilling all the different sections of the food pyramid. But last night, after what's had to be months without pizza, we ordered from Roundtable. I had been so deprived that I scarfed down my pepperoni half of the pizza in what had to be record time. Well, I'm paying for it this morning. And that's all I have to say about that.
Oh, they look happy now, but they'll be sprinting for the closet bush in the morning
Wednesday, August 23, 2006The Kind of Post That I Was Trying to AvoidI think one of the reasons I've been delinquent in my posting is that I'm not full of a lot of exciting things to write about right now. Well, there's one exciting development that may be arising soon (no, not THAT) but I'm keeping it under my hat until I know for sure. But other than that undetermined excitement, life has been fairly bland. I did a little yard work yesterday, wanna hear about that? Perhaps you'd like to know about us washing our cars on Saturday (the hispanic workers next door were certainly interested, more so in Danielle's shorts than in me shirtless). We also took Bandit to the dog park on Saturday and for a walk to get bagels. As much as that excited him, I really doubt you'll be interested. Most likely as the dog days of summer wind down and the weather cools off a bit, I'll have more exciting adventures to tell. Until then, you'll just have to wade through my pointless observations about the cats and maybe so movie reviews from shows I catch on IFC. One last thing, I recently discovered Terry Pratchett (the author of lots of humorous Sci-Fi). So if you liked Douglas Adams, or other in that genre, you should check out the "Pratch" as his friends call him.
Friday, August 18, 2006Friday's DroppingsWhy are cats always so frisky after taking a poo? What would people think if I came running out of the bathroom at full speed after finishing up? Now head over to D's page and watch this. Then watch his roast on Sunday. We'll meet back here Monday afternoon sometime. 
Thursday, August 17, 2006Back from Self-imposed ExileWell, its been awhile, but I finally feel it might be time to hop back in the saddle. There has been a lot going on in my life lately. From "living in sin," to family visits, to the unending stream of friends that have to visit us now, I've barely had time to have a thought to myself. It seems like every time I start to stare out the window pensively, I am quickly asked, "Whatcha thinking 'bout?" and my train of thought is lost. As the end of America's Got Talent looms ahead this evening, I meet it with a certain sense of regret and excitement. Regret that something that allows a rapping Granny to get to the finals has so intrigued me, and excitement about the soon arriving fall season. Lost, of course, is the show I'm most excited about, but there are a few new shows on the plate that have me salivating. Heroes is the show I think I have been waiting for all my life! Every since I read my first X-men comic when I was little, I couldn't wait to hit puberty so my mutant powers would show up. Would it be the ability to fly, shoot laser beams out of my eyes, or cover my body with fire? I didn't know, but I was damned excited to find out. Unfortunately, the mutant powers ship has sailed for me, as I am long past the age of where they would've surfaced. (though I'm still holding out for Immortality, but that's just a waiting game) I also recently confessed to my girlfriend that when I have kids someday, I'm going to be sorely disappointed if they aren't unbreakable. Don't get me wrong, I'll love my kids no matter what they do, but deep down inside, it won't be until one morning at breakfast that one of them passes the syrup to the other using their mind that I'll be truly elated.
I'll love them even if they look like Nightcrawler. I mean, think of what we'd save on gas!
Monday, July 17, 2006Running Down the Street with My Hands in the Air...I hate to be the doomsayer running down the street with his hands in the air, but have you watched the news lately? Just today, I clicked on the "Middle East" link on BBC News and my browser exploded. I'm sure its not the end of the world, the world will be here long after all the humans on it are dead, but things are certainly a little hectic right now. North Korea is testing long range missiles, and Japan is rattling its sabers at them. Israel is bombing the crap out of Lebanon, and Iran is rattling its scimitars. More earthquakes in the ocean, and tsunami's are rattling the bamboo in Indonesia. Not to even mention that hurricane season is just getting ramped up. (and old people in Florida are rattling in their hammocks) And people are complaining because the President is cursing? He'd better be cursing with all this shit going on! Now, I'm not saying that the apocalypse is coming, and I'm not saying its not (ok, its not) but things could definitely get more difficult for us all. So maybe think about keeping a jug of water under your sink, or at least keeping the Brita full. Maybe buy a few extra can goods at the store next time. And you should really think about converting your basement into a giant gasoline container.
Friday, July 14, 2006Caving...Every now and then, we all do something we swore that we would never do. For instance, yesterday I bought jeans that already had holes in them. Don't freak out mom, they were only $5. And Danielle ate at a California named restaurant while in the state of *gasp* California. But life is hard, and sometimes comprimises have to be made. I wanted a quality pair of comfortable jeans without having to pay a lot for them, and Danielle wanted pizza. Luckily Gap, which was having a sale, and California Pizza Kitchen are right next door to each other.
Thursday, July 13, 2006"Little Miss, Little Miss Can't Be Wrong"This Tuesday night, Danielle and I, and about 80 other of our close strangers, met up in Berkeley for an exclusive sneak preview of the new movie Little Miss Sunshine. Due to Danielle's internet-browsing prowess, we scored free tickets to the event. I have never laughed so much in my entire life. The story follows the mis-adventures of a family besieged by troubles, on their journey to California for the Little Miss Sunshine Children's Beauty pageant. Steve Carell has broken out as an outstanding actor after he left The Daily Show, and this movie shows the range he is truly capable of. His character, the number one renowned Proust scholar in the nation, has recently attempted suicide. This has landed him in the home of his sister, Toni Collette, and her struggling family. Her son has stopped speaking because of Frederich Nietchze, her Father-in-law, one outstanding Alan Arkin, was kicked out of his nursing home for snorting heroin, and her husband is striving to be the nations next Tony Robbins. Which brings us to her daugther, a homely little girl striving to be the next Miss America. It is because of her that the adventure begins. The family piles into an old Volkswagon Van and begins the trek to California. The trip is, of course, fraught with trouble. Not "The Hills Have Eyes" sort of trouble, but gutbusting tears of laughter (for the audience anyway) sort of fun. The jokes were non-stop, every character is perfectly displayed, and the families troubles are funny, but not so outlandish as to be unbelieveable. And I absolutely loved the portrayal of the Children's Beauty pageant. It seemed right on, and I can not believe that people can't see how ludicrous that entire enterprise is. While the movie lacks a definate leading character, it tends to swing back and forth between them all, I think that its meandering plotline ties in well with the theme of a journey. The movie picks up in the middle of the families lives and ends in that same vein. While the characters grow and change throughout the movie, it didn't feel the need to wrap things up neatly at the end as 80's sitcoms were fond of. The script doesn't overwhelm the film, and while some, and I use that work lightly, of the comedy is a little high-brow, the film is neither presumptious, nor "better than you". If you are going to only see one movie this summer, and everyone is saying Pirates of the Carribean is horrible, then go see this movie. Releases most everywhere (though I would recommend hitting up one of your smaller venues, like the Dobie or Alamo if you are in Austin) on Friday! **Side Note** For those of you who know, I'm pretty sure that Steve's character was actually written for Kevin Jones to play, but due to his busy schedule, he was unavailable. Especially the scene I've dubbed, "the sarcastic van scene", due to it being about sarcasm and in a van. I'm pretty sure I've had that same conversation with Kevin the past.
Thursday, June 29, 2006...be like Buddha...I just read an article about Becca Bland and her idea for a "non-photography day". Her website expands on the idea. Becca, a photographer herself, is drawing from her seemingly newfound Buddhist beliefs to encourage others to live in the moment, rather than stoically document it. If you read the entire article, you got to the deragatory comments made by David Rowan at the bottom. He starts from the assumption that she is wanting to get everyone to stop taking pictures in general and claims she is "fighting a losing battle" comparing this day to anti-consumerist and anti-television days which have done nothing to stem the tide of watching TV or buying stuff. I feel that he is looking at this wrong way. These "days" aren't there to elimnate these practices entirely- we are all going to have to buy stuff at one time or another- but to get you to go out and experience life in a different way. Just as Becca isn't trying to get people to stop taking pictures forever, but to spend a day living in the moment, rather than recording it. While I agree that many people use photos as a way to try and "own" a moment, others use them as a way to simply remember how they felt at a certain time. So check out her site, and put down your camera for one day. "The thing is there before our eyes, for it refuses to be ignored; but when we endeavour to grasp it within our own hands in order to examine it more closely or systematically, it eludes us and we lose it’s track" -D.T Suzuki- Essays in Zen Buddhism 
Thursday, June 15, 2006Another Comments Section Relationship Gone BadI started blogging in November of 2004. At that time, I was single and living in a new city and trying to meet new people. I was on Friendster, MySpace, and hitting up random people on Craigslist looking to walk their dog around the Lafayette Reservoir. One of the random girls I was trying to pick up on Friendster had a blog on blogger. After reading it for a few weeks, and checking out other sites on blogger, I decided this was something I could do, in fact, something I've always wanted to do. Thus began the majesty that is my blog. Well, this same Friendster girl and I continued to read each other's blogs and would send the occasional e-mail. I enjoyed reading what she had to say, and she at least pretended to enjoy my claptrap. I'd seen pictures of her here and there, knew minor details about her life, but we weren't really friends, just e-friends. Then around the holiday season I received an invite to a Christmas party she was throwing. "Should I do this?" I asked myself, Should I break the fourth wall and meet this person who I had built up this ideal of? Well, I decided I should indeed meet this ethereal person and actually put flesh and bone to the ideal. So Mysterious... First off she was shorter than I expected. And of course other little things of who I thought this person was were completely wrong. The party was fun. We didn't know many people, and I had to drive back, so I couldn't get drunk enough to be social with strangers. But we had a good time and it was good to meet her in person. But then I stopped reading her blog. It wasn't really a conscious choice, a "She's not who I thought she should be so I won't read it" type of thing. I just didn't find myself clicking on her link as often. Of course, that was about the time she changed her blog site, and I was doing a site redesign, and it was the holiday season, but it wasn't until about a month or so ago that she made it back into my usual repertoire. Now comes the problem. One of Danielle's college friends, whose blog I read religiously, is coming out to visit in a few weeks. My problem is, what if she's completely different from what I expect and then I stop reading her blog too?! That would be too much for me to take! Her's is one of the few that I will laugh out loud to. So loud, in fact, it disturbs my co-workers causing a groundhog-like pop-up of heads over cube walls. Who else will I learn about phone flare from? Who else can I relate to about mistaken cat identity? I'm sure she is great. I'm sure we'll all have lots of fun when she visits. But I still have a hesitation about it. We get along so well in our comments sections, what if that doesn't relate over to real life? What if we can only handle each other in terms of quipped one liners? Oh Internet 2.0! You and your increased social networking capacity are driving me insane! Ok, I will try and be like Buddha. I will have no expectations. Expectations lead to failure, which leads to fear, which leads to anger, which leads to hate, which leads to me eating at Panda Express! I will go into this meeting of wits with no ideals, no standards, and no expectations of height. I just have to remember... ....be like Buddha... ...be like Buddha... ...be like Buddha...
Tuesday, June 06, 2006"The DEV-IL!"One of my friends in college was the biggest metal head I've ever known. He was about 6'4", had long hair down the middle of his back, and worked as a DJ at the excellent radio station that used to reside in Georgetown, TX, 107.7 KNACK, Home of the PsychoBaby. He would frequently tromp about the house, raise his arms high and yell out "The DEVIL!" as loud as he could. Most people who came over were deathly afraid of him, as he looked to be some kind of monster when he would yell that out. But in truth, he was one of the nicest guys I knew, and was always around to help you out. This hell raising friend of mine has gone on to be a youth minister in the Houston area. This just goes to show that outward appearances can be deceiving. I'm not going to say "are always deceiving" because despite what his friends may say about him, I'm probably not going to get too near the guy with the blood covered chainsaw and the necklace of squirrel heads. Which leads me to today, The Sixth of June, in the year of our Lord Two Thousand and Six. A Tuesday. A totally unassuming Tuesday. The slowest day of the week at the Mac Genius bar in the Walnut Creek store. And also a day of EVIL! A day full of the Fru-its of the Dev-IL! That's right, today is 6/6/6. And we are all on the edge of our seats waiting for the worst to come. Women are refusing to have children, in case it might be the son of the Lucifer. You know what ladies, if you are truly carrying the son of the devil, it will still be the son of the devil if it is born today, or tomorrow. Just ask Mia Farrow. One of my friends had their baby today, and I'm pretty sure that they are not worried about whether the beautiful child they hold in their arms is devil spawn. I'm sure they are glad that they have a healthy baby, with 10 fingers and 10 toes, and are glad that everyone is alive and healthy. I'm sure it hasn't even occurred to them yet what the date is. Of course, once they do, I'm sure they drown the baby in a bucket of water. You know, just to be safe. I'm sure there are people not going in to work today, calling in "rapture" and afraid to leave the house. Of course, this is not the first time this date has happened. It happened in 6/6/1906, 6/6/1806, and basically the 6th year of every century since we started counting this way. In fact, there was even a June 6th in the year 666. That's like 5 sixes, and if we survived that, we can survive this.But this got me thinking again about those that look desperately for the apocalypse, that believe it will happen in their lifetime. Is that all they have to look forward too? Are their lives so destitute, that the only thing that could bring them happiness is the utter demolition of all life as we know it. I saw Stephen King's "The Stand" that's nothing that I would look forward to. Of course, there are those who are opposed to, and trying to fight the coming of the apocalypse. Thinking that if they can keep America from going to a cashless society, then the rapture can never come. That the creator of the you, me, the world, the universe, and everything could be defeated by something as simple as a bar code. But, of course the world is not going to end on 6/6/06, everyone who's anyone knows that it will end according to the Mayan Calendar on December 12, 2012.If you'd like to learn more about triple 6, check out your local library, or there is a great write up at Wikipedia (contributed to by THE DEVIL!) One of the enlightening things I learned is that '666' is considered one of the luckiest numbers in Chinese culture, sounding a lot like the phrase for "things going smoothly". Which just goes to show that Chinese people are evil. [Chinese people are not evil, their government is evil. Which is another reason why this blog is banned in China] -Ed. Note
Friday, June 02, 2006Ta Da!Petting three cats at the same time reminds me of that old Vaudeville act where the guy spins the plates on the long, tall poles. You start petting one cat and get him purring. Then another cat shows up so you start petting him to get him purring. Then you feel like the third cat is left out, so you go and find her and start petting her till she purrs. But now the first cat isn't purring as much so you have to run back to him to get him purring again. Now the third cat has almost stopped... Next thing you know, you are running back and forth between three cats trying to keep them all purring and now the dog is following you around, getting all excited and barky. All the time, I'm wondering, where is my applause? 
Thursday, June 01, 2006Bigger than Jesus!So, every now and then I wish I had a much larger fanbase for this site, like Jesus-size fanbase. Sometimes its because I don't want to have to go into a job I hate everyday and would be much happier if I could just make a post, then go to the beach while watching the money from my ads pour in. But the main reason I wish I had more readers is because of my friends. I have lots and lots of smart, intelligent, and creative friends. Many of their blogs I link to over there on the right under Links. Other's have their creativity offline. It's for these people that I wish I had more readers. That I had more people to tell about the wonderousness that is my friends. Kevin Jones is one of those. I have known Kevin since we were freshmen together as Southwestern. We took an Intro to Acting class that year, and like the others majoring in Theatre, he hated me for only being a minor. This hate between Kevin and I existed for a long time until I realized that it's not Kevin, he hates everyone, and that small amount of tolerance he shows me, is just his way of saying he cares. Over the years Kevin has relaxed and become a very funny guy with a great talent for writing.
He wrote a hit play, what did you ever do?
Friday, May 26, 2006From the Lone Star StateI'll have to say, there will always be a soft spot in my heart for Austin, TX. While landing at the airport I was reminded by the scenery flying past of its green rivers snaking through the hill country. I'll have to say, I miss it, but not enough yet to move back. I'm certainly enjoying the Bay Area. I always say I miss the heat from Texas, but then I'm back for about 20 minutes, and already I'm sweating... in a car... with the A/C on high. Last night I met up with a bunch of old friends for drinks. It is always interesting to see where life has taken everyone. Everyone is more often married than not now, (or atleast living with their sig-other), working in great jobs, they've all quit smoking, and are living all over the place, from Oregon to New York. I've got some other friends that my be leaving soon as well. But no matter where we go, Austin is always the hub that brings us back together. It only takes 10 minutes of drinking warm beer in the sweltering heat (and that was at like 11:00 at night! Atleast 85 degrees at 11:00pm! How did I ever live like this) to feel like I'm back in college again, and half of us are drinking on fake ID's, everyone is smoking, and no one knows how we are getting back to Georgetown. Well, that's the end to my stroll down nostalgia avenue, I think I might go hit the pool while nursing this hangover. It's a shame to let all the heat go to waste.
Monday, May 22, 2006In Cars...This weekend, my insurance check finally arrived, and what began on May 1st has come full circle and I am now a driver again. After doing some research and a little car shopping I am now the proud owner of a 2002 VW Golf. Apparently Drivers were Wanted, and I heeded the call. Now, while you are all guffawing in your sleeves about my choice of vehicle, I will admit that I myself used to laugh at Golf drivers (though I pined after hot women in white Rabbits, thanks very much License To Drive, and Can't Buy Me Love). I originally was looking for a late model Passat or Jetta. When I first saw the Golf, I laughed, thinking, who drives those! I opened the door of one, just for kicks and giggles, and realized how incredibly room they are. I opened the hatchback and was amazed at all the space! Driving it was absolutely Heaven. The test drive took up almost a full hour as I was reluctant to stop driving it. While not as powerful as the GTI version, it still packs quite a punch. It corners like its on rails, and brakes discretely yet firmly. We haggled for awhile, they came off the price more than I thought, but then refused to move from there. At one point I even put my foot down and we left the dealership, saying I would have to sleep on it. But never being one to refuse instant gratification, we quickly turned around and went back to close the deal.  At the dealership, right before purchase All weekend I have been trying to find reasons to leave the house, just so I can drive it! "What's that dear, no toilet paper on the roll, I'll run down the store real quick and get you some! Oh, there's a 20 pack in the cabinet, damn." "What's that? We need to hang some pictures? Well I'll just run down the hardware store and pick up some screws! Oh, I went this morning and bought a value pack, shoot" Apparently buying in bulk will be my downfall! Long story short, it is a lot of fun to drive. So I'm happy with my purchase and am definitely a more cautious driver now. That's not to say that I won't occasionally speed, I just won't be as reckless anymore!  Christening the Car with a Champagne Bottle Danielle is very excited about it as well, though she hasn't gotten a chance to drive it. But she says its cute (I say ruggedly cute) and that it fits me well.
And with this purchase, the trifecta of changes in my life for May is now complete. I have a new car, a new house and new glasses. It's like I'm a whole new person... ...and who says men can't change! "Here in my car
Wednesday, May 17, 2006Its a Friendship Fence! In 1994 a little watched movie (that I loved, of course) came out called Speechless. In it, Michael Keaton and Geena Davis played speech writers for two opposing candidates. They of course, fall in love, lose their jobs, fall in love even more, etc.... During the film one of the policies being debated is one candidate has the idea of curbing illegal immigration by building a large ditch between the US and Mexico. As the speech writer, one of them comes up with the idea of calling it the the Friendship Ditch, quoting "Good Fences make Good Neighbors". I remember while watching the movie I thought (as a 14 year old) that this was a very laughable idea for controlling a very serious problem. But as it was a romantic comedy, what else can you expect. Well, apparently our senators are softies at heart as well and also watched this movie. Today the senate voted to approve building a fence between a long section of the US/Mexico border. Full article here. You'll notice the reference to the "good fences" quote. The only thing they are missing is the name "Friendship Fence", which I'm sure will come soon. (and I've copyrighted, so if they use it, they'll owe me big $) Is this what our government has come to? Taking their ideas for government from romantic comedies? Isn't a fence just going to contain the problem, and not really solve it? Wouldn't working on a strong immigration policy to make it easier for immigrants to come to America from Mexico legally work more for American workers than against? After all, if they are legal immigrants, they will have government protection in demanding minimum wage, instead of working for even lower wages under the table. Then, the immigrants would be on the same page as American workers who complain that illegal immigrants work for cheaper. Perhaps the issue of immigration isn't that American workers are afraid of losing their jobs, but that those Americans that are racist do not feel they should have to share their country with anyone else and are simply using the "low wages" stance as a red herring. If nothing else, think of the other things that we use fences for. I use a fence to keep my dog in the yard. Ranchers use fences to keep cattle contained and predators out. Is this the image that we want to portray to Mexico, that they are simply an animal to keep in place? Or are they the crafty predator and Americans are the docile cattle? There are many things that this administration has done that I have disagreed with, but this is the first that I am truly ashamed of.  picture from Seonna Hong
Tuesday, May 16, 2006LET HIM OUT!I found this ad on Craigslist during my daily perusal of the free section: "BLACK KENMORE WORKING DISH WASHER (4YRS OLD) MANUEL IS INSIDE THE DISHWASHER. REMODELING & DON'T NEED THESE ITEMS." Hmm, is that how a dishwasher works? And aren't their child labor laws? ***Update*** Did this post remind anyone else of that Punky Brewster episode where Cherie gets stuck in the old fridge out in the yard while playing hide and seek? When Punky and her friends finally find her, she is passed out from lack of oxygen. Punky was messing around and not paying attention in class so she doesn't know how to do CPR, but her friend (either the boy or Margeux) was paying attention and Cherie was saved! ...maybe it was just me...
Thursday, May 11, 2006LOST 2.0 As many of you may know, I am totally engrossed in the LOST series that is gruelingly slow in unfolding on ABC. Last night was the lead up to the Season Finale next week. There are many things that are revolutionary about this series, but I think the biggest thing is the whole other world that the series has created. In addition to the hourly show each week there are many websites that the writers have created that tie into the show. There is the mysterious Hanso Foundation websites. There are the weird commercials that are airing during the show, and now there is a novel available for sale that was supposedly written by one of the casualties of the plane crash. But it wasn't until last night that I discovered how purely genius all of this really is. One of the biggest problems television is facing right now is TiVo. Viewers are using TiVo to tape their favorite shows and then fast forward through commercials. As commercials are the bread and butter of network TV, they need to come up with inventive ways to reach consumers, while still raking in that advertising money. One way LOST is doing this is by having fake commercials relating to the show during the regular commercials. This is getting viewers to watch the real commercials on the off chance that they see another fake one. Another way is that LOST has created two worlds. The world of the people on the island that we watch (religiously) every week on TV. And this other world that we the viewer get to experience first hand. Whether its the pleading voice of an alluring female on the 800 number they provided last week during their "commercial", or the mysterious figure hacking in to the Hanso website leaving us cryptic messages about help needed, we feel like our participation is required to not only help this poor soul out, but also to be the first to discover what the hell is going on with the show. On some level, its like these people are really stranded on the island, while the rest of are stuck out here in the real world striving against an evil and powerful multi-national corporation (and there is nothing our generation hates more than powerful multi-national corporations) to free them from their fates. If I don't help them, who will? They are also now using this massive following they have on the internet to cross promote other products in a very viral way. Last night, one of their fake commercials has in very small text in the bottom corner "sponsored by Sprite" and the commercial led you to a site titled Sublymonal. Of course the web communities have already picked up on the use of Lymon in the address and the similarities between that site and Sprite's new ad campaign. Now whether or not this will lead to people buying more Sprite is yet to be seen, but I'm sure the traffic generated to their site alone has been phenomenal. This all got me thinking about how our generation is requiring marketing that is very different from previous generations. While we all enjoy buying things, and are flattered that we are being marketed to, advertisers have a fine line to walk. We don't want to know that the thing we are enjoying is trying to sell us a product. Nothing ruins a Flash game, or crazy website more than knowing that the whole thing is a commercial. We are very against "selling out". So while The Postal Service and Modest Mouse are very popular bands, we just get upset when we see their music in an ad selling us a car. Not only do we not want to buy the car, we might like the band a little less too. (In fact, my girlfriend threatened to stop watching the show because of this tie-in to Sprite.) But what's the point then of creating these games and sites if you can't tell us what you are trying to sell? Well, you have to make sure that what you create is so amusing or different that we will send it on despite its product tie-ins. Another flash game about tubing, but where I'm riding a lifesaver rather than an innertube is just not going to cut it. (Case in point, the very fact that I'm blogging about the LOST/Sprite tie-in just goes to show how well this all worked. Damn it, now I'm a sell-out too!)
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